Just because I feel like it,

Shorty is a Killa,
Straight HeartBreaker..

& I swear Im`a be the death of him.

This is what you do to me,

Like that glass, You broke me, you really did. You ruined me, honestly. I lost myself in you, & something I can't explain took over.. couldn't control it. It was drastic, too much for me to handle. I've grown with you, indeed. But I also lost that emotional part of me, that I'll never get back. My heart was on my sleeve for you, the whole time.. I loved you more than you would ever know. More than you will ever know. I love you, regardless.. flaws & all. It takes time to make something worth while & with false hope, I believed we did that .. we didn't. And that's my fault, I knew exactly what you were doing all along, but like a rider, or someone in love.. Right by your side, stood me, Me.. I did everything for you.. And you? You, put me through hell & back.. and I, like I always remind you .. I always came back. It was connection, but with no feeling, silly as it sounds. I don't know what happened to us exactly. Why we fell so hard & and hit rock bottom. Thing is ? I really don't know how the hell I trapped myself to the point I know I can't get out.. you made me feel like no other. Your bullshit moves, and I still loved you.
I feel like, you're fucking stupid. Like you just don't get it.. like you don't know why you did the things you did, why you move the way you move. You were my peace of mind, and when you left, my sanity held your hand.. and walked right beside you.. and was gone. My world came crashing down. Couldn't control myself. You stopped calling, and there was no more missed calls. I kept calling, no answer. Three times.. no answer. And you? Couldn't care less. It's impossible for me to give one, two, three fucks now.. about what you do.. or how you do it . Cause you hurt me soo much , that I hate you . Seriously . Feels bad of me, but I can't control it. The way you hurt me, slowly turned into impatience and disgust and anger. Looking back, I see broken promises, you not being the man you promised me to be. You not living up. Fuck it. Ask yourself.. who stayed real through this entire thing, me .. or you? Swear to God, if you sit here, read this and say to yourself.. I'll go crazy. I made you smile, you made me cry. I went under, drowned myself in you.. while you? didn't even get your goddamn feet wet. It irritates me to know, you can go on in life and not feel a damn thing, while the person you 'Loved.' is hurting, day by day. You got what you wanted , remember? You wanted me to feel the same pain, if not worse, as you did when you found out that I cheated on you. You wanted to rip my heart out and stomp on it, and then leave it there on the floor, lifeless.. you wanted to really fucking hurt me, after I apologized to you, for every little fucking thing I did. I apologized to you, in tears.. because I felt so bad, I hurt so bad, for hurting someone I love soo much. Our constant problems pushed you away.. and I'm afraid you're not mature enough, to come back.
But as my last words, to you.. for you or about you, I hope you fucking miss me. I hope the thought of you ever leaving, hurts you. Because I hurts me. And I hope when you do decide to come back, or say ' Hi. ' or whatever you have planned in the future as your comeback.. I hope you come back hard. Hit HARDER, & sweep me off my feet, make me fall in love all over again and do us real big. But again, that's my false hope. My fault. I just hope, that at the end of the day, you think about me. Never forget. Because for the most part, what we had.. was what we wanted, at the time. I'm done for now, so one for now.. and possibly forever.
..you'll live in my memories forever more I swear.

I Love you, but damn. You're killing me here.

Mmm , this is my shittt . . .

you, turned your back & back i came runninq .. but the simple fact was that, you ain't wantt me . done enouqh cryinq & lyinq to myself. nothinq else to do but moveee. what else could i do but leave.. and then you 'll come to your senses, but then its too late , that's always how it be. but next dude will glady, pick up where you left offf. Wife me. But you ain't qunna have me..
crying. - MJB * .

Jahmai Jahron ♥

"mai mai."

`october25th2oo6*

myfirstbabyboy,
But don't get it twisted.
-my godson.
♥

.. ILOVEYOU.

He had my heart, before he had my heart,<3.>

And Beauty is her name,

"...the girl that stole your ♥ , & beauty is her name."


"..I'm hoping I can make you mine.. before another steals your heart, & I Swear we will never be apart."

...

So today is Tuesday, & Tomorrow is Wednesday, hmm. What does that mean? .. well, it means I go back to freakinq school tomorrow : \ And that SUCKS because I am literally drowning in make-upp work. Seriously, if you saw my room right now, woah. Looks like my locker exploded, books EVERYWHERE. So I guess you could say, I'm not THAT excitedd to go back. But getting out this house, THANK GOD. I'd write more .. but I have mad homework to do, & I'm not a ffucking genius.
So Byeee.



"And I'll never, never in this world. Get tired of your Love."
-Beauty is her Name, Dru Hill.

Must be ♥ ...

* But baby this must be Love <3.

Final sealing, to something broken.

When it all falls, d o w n,

...

I was hurting in this relationship, everyday was something new. Something to fight about, whether it was serious or not. And we fought, all the time, for soo long, where sometimes i felt you couldn’t give a shit whether we worked it out, or not. And that hurt me the most. More than arguing with you. Knowing that i wouldn’t have the satisfaction of an apology to make me feel better. You always got one, and i never did. In order for me to really grow up, i needed to know when & how & why you have to let some things just go.. and it’s not one of those, let them go and hope they come back things either. Because i done all that. I held on to that hope for soo long, its sad to see it fade away. But we faded, and more than anything i wanted a relationship with you, and only you. No games. We didn’t have that.. it was something, more than friends, sure enough, but less than a couple. Cant describe it. In order to get it, i needed to swallow my pride, mind over heart, and let it go. You don’t understand how much it hurt me. you’ll never know, because there’s no words to even BEGIN to explain. We were soo much better as friends, than in a complicated relationship. But i wanted you soo bad. Just not in the way i had you. I settled for less, and again, another drop in pride. It feels fatal, to lose you… but I know it won’t kill me, if anything, it’ll make me stronger. We both did what we had to do, and that was that. I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know, and I love you with every emotion i have in my body, to death. You were something i thought i’d never be able to let go. I won’t miss us being in a relationship though.. well maybe, from the first month.. but after that, forget about it. I understand why you can’t trust me now, but I can’t believe you couldn’t trust me before i gave you a reason not to. It wasn’t fair. I have and had trust issues, but with you i took the biggest risk, because my heart was involved. One of the most important things i own, I gave to you. I put you first, always, always, always. I don’t know what made me come back after all the fighting, every time. We were a mess, let’s call it that.
Broken glass, everywhere. Cause everywhere we stepped, one of us got hurt. I wanted you back after the first day of the official break up.. but i couldn’t fathom putting myself, and my heart through that emotional torture again. So i had to deal, and come to terms that me & you are no longer. I still can’t believe we hurt each other as much as we did. Back and forth, all the time. The little game we played, shitt on our relationship & fucked it up, bad. From me cheating on you, to you doing whatever it was you were definitely, secretly doing, it hurt us. And whatever we had, or were trying to build, fell apart before we even had it up. Which cleary meant, we were not meant to be. We were a disaster waiting to happen, fire before smoke. we weren’t reality, we were the perfect example of fantasy, lust over love, but even the lust burned out…
I guess this is Goodbye, Goodnight & Goodluck.
& it's a damn shame.