Dedicated..

Once upon a time
We swore not to say goodbye
Something got a hold of us
And we changed
Then you sat alone in pride
And I sat at home and cried
How'd our fairytale just end up this way..

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if that's a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a lost cause
I can't wait to phase you
Break you down so low there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
oooh (hou, owh, owh, h.a.t.e. u.)

Ooh and this was a love phenomenon no one could explain
And I wish I could press reset and feel that feeling again
I sit and press rewind
and watch us every night
Want to pause it but I cant make it stay

We went round for round
Til' we knocked love out
We were laying in the ring
Not making a sound
And if thats a metaphor of you and I
Why is it so hard to say goodbye

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a lost cause
I can't wait to phase you
Break you down so low there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you
oooh (hou, owh, owh, h.a.t.e. u.)

No need to call my phone
'Cos I changed my number today
And matter fact I think im moving away (away)
Sorry the frustrations got me feelin away
And I just keep having one last thing to say
And I just want to hold you, touch you, feel you
Be near you, I miss you baby baby baby (baby baby baby)
I'm tired of tryin to fake through
But there's nothing I can do
Boy I can't wait to hate you

I can't wait to hate you
Make you pain like I do
Still can't shake you off
I can't wait to break through these emotional changes
Seems like such a lost cause
I can't wait to phase you
Break you down so low there's no place left to go
I can't wait to hate you baby,

I can't wait to H.A.T.E.U.
but right now, I need you..

My 17th Fucking BIRTHDAY, ♥

..went a lil something like this,

































Prettybitches&food&cold&snow&DRAMA?!&Tears&Bullshit&girl&sleepover!&snow..&stress&love, ♥

Unofficially.

For the the first kiss that turned into infinity, a friendship that transpired into romance, the late night phone calls, the week day visits, the tears, the laughter & more.

For us, it's far from a glamorization. Because we had to work, hard & long. Struggling to keep this thing alive. Three years in the making & within all the stumbles and falls, and things that always seem to have gone wrong.. surprisingly, we're still here.

It's a metaphor for what love isn't and is all at the same time.

Slowly, we've merged into this cool, comfortable, closeness that wouldn't feel the same, if it wasn't for the struggle.

We're walking into the beat of one day, one, step at a time, slowly.. progressing.

The insanity of our love only is, we can't stand each other & yet, can't stand being without.

Truly, you are my first love, that's turning into my forever. And heart can definitely concur.


You are my bad days, good days, arguments, world, everything in between here & there, my headache, my conscience, & my life.

..all unofficially.

Dedicated to the one, & only, that I love.

Shorty's a PC.

Just chilling, you know the deal :-*

Something that I like.

I have this Model chick, who can't cook or clean. But she has style & her walk is mean.

Young Wild Hearts.

Love must mean never having to say "I love you".
It must be that feeling of reinsurance, that makes everything feel okay.
(Even if it's not.)
The hoping, the praying, because hopeless is just plain absurd.
Love must mean, sometimes you just have to let go.
But never forever,
Cause love means you'll always come back.
It's the precious space between two people that makes the heart grow fonder.
It's the missing, and the thought of never being able to let go.
That makes one love another, to a whole other level.
Love is something out of this world.
I know because I've been there..
guided by my heart.


Love has infinite definitions of what it's SUPPOSE to be,
but its the abnormality that makes original love, pure ♥



You're Everything to me,
our love has no concrete definition.
We just happen to go with the flow.

Hello, December..

So it's been a minute, so what.. With everything that has been going on, it's fairly deserved to have taken a break. But I'm glad I'm back.. I'm glad I'm writing again, because this blog is 100% about me, and how I feel. And lately, that's exactly what I've been needing ♥

Remember that 'boyfriend'? Well, he's still in my life, beautifully. Holding it down, doing his thing, & keeping my heart alive. And my friends have changed, I only have two. Two real good ones right now, & I'm mature enough to know I couldn't be happier. So, all I have, is my Pretty Bitches, & my 'Boyfriend'..

Oh and"Pretty Bitches", ... pronounced [*Birches] is a mutherfucking word & No one's sweating it by the way, because you're sweating WEBSTER, Webster's fucking DICTIONARY. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but bitches, any bitches could be a pretty fucking bitch, even if they're ugly, lmao. But calm all that 'Jocking' noise down boo, it's life.. 100% unoriginal.
But enough of you, & her..this my blog remember?

My 17th Birthday's in 22 days, call me corny but I'm counting down, & I've been doing so since, um? Novemeber 24th, fuck what you said.. it's my Birthday.

I won't cry,
not even if I wanted to.

If I explain myself, in depth. You'll understand.

1) Hypocrite.
2) We're on the low, & no body knows.. but you and me.
3) Caught up on your Ex still?
4) 2010.
5) "B"
6) Stress, Highschool mess, break-up, make-up.
7) Bitchhh. *( Yeah, OK.)
8) Did, I say? DISRESPECT.
9) Your heart could just be any other organ in your body, while mine's is my World.
10) SSSSSTUNT!
11) "Cheatr, lier"
12) Immaturity.
13) Up,down, up, down.. all in the same day.
14) _BOYZ*
15) Your pride, is bigger than your heart.
16) Can't forget about that preciousss reputation!
17) 16, 20.
18) Your sideline, hoe.
19) "Say I love you" ... you'll be irite.
20) You got that.
21) Oh, and my sidelines? .. Wtf.
22) Finsh Later, *you make this list all on your own, I just write it down.



In my dreams, my Dear, I can do better.

XXII ♥

baby I know you got moves to make, but you ain't leaving 'till I get another chance.

Always & a Bit of Forever ♥

My heart, my soul, my frustration, my everything..
I honestly and truly love you with all of me. Imagine, my all. I can't seem to get enough of you, and it's crazy because enough of you, is all I need.

Evenson, Jr. Blanc.

"Sorry."

Is what your First, Last, and middle name should be.
Because you're always sorry, sorry for this, sorry for that.
And when sorry starts to not mean a thing to me anymore,
that's when you know, everything from here on end,
is unforgivable.



You disgust me.

Thought Shorty was the the truth.

So why make the same mistake twice?
Though, you weren't the one to make it the first time.
Why repeat history? We've learned from that.

But if you're trying to teach me a lesson, you're wasting your already wasted time.
Because if you hurt me, the way I hurt you. I promise you, I'll leave.
You'll never see the side of me you love, nor when addressing and discussing you, I will never smile.
You'll miss everything that once took your breath away, and that part of me will shatter.

Now, I know I'm sounding a bit hyrpocrital.


But I also know, you won't make up for your mistake in a way that will ever match up to mine.


You just don't have that ability.
Because if you lose me this way, it'll be impossible to get me back.
You're better off shooting for the moon and reaching to the stars.




Found out he was a cheater?

A Dedication, to you and me.

"Some one's heart breaks, and it becomes your favorite song." - Unknown.

Moving Moutains- Usher.
And if I close my eyes and ignore everything. I'd swear I'm singing this song to you..
As if you were right there and I was right here. And every word of this song, was a dedication in a rhymic flow.
You know it's true.

Her heart is oblivarating, I'm tryna travel through, but it's like moving mountains..

Teach me- Musiq Soulchild.
Your heart is a mess, basically. It's impossible for you to love in anyway.
But I'm sitting, desperately trying to make everything better, so you can finally love me again.
I know it's broken, I just want to be the one who fixes it.

I'm trying desperately, baby just work with me.


Break-up to Make-up- Jeremih.
A comic relief to our up and down situation. True, we are always breaking up..
just to make up hours later. And true, it is frustrating. We can't stand each other, but even more we can't stand to be apart. It's something out of the ordinary, you and me. But it's hard to ignore something this obvious ♥

Many days go by, and I ain't gon lie. I need you right here. My baby, but after all call me crazy; but you're like a drug. Seems like it's daily we get back in love. It's cupid in the sky, 'cause boy you know I, I, I, love you. And I know sometimes we struggle, you are the piece to the puzzle.
Come and take a riiide ♥ ♥ ♥

Say what you mean. Mean what you say.

Because lately my heart's been confused.
I don't know what you mean when you say, "I love you."



I've written enough about you for a day.
Leave the key to my heart at the door.
And leave.

It's alll over, forever.

Evenson, I love you & I know I probably always will.
So, it's not even about when I stop, & If I stop.
But lately, you've been hurting me. Breaking my heart over & over.
And I want to leave you, I really really do because I don't want to feel like this anymore.
And I'm trying and I've tried, but trust me it's not easy. Because trying? I've tried it allll..
I'm trying soo hard to want you to trust me again. I've given you no reason not to.
My heart's taken, forever & By you. No else comes close to how much you mean to me.

Good or bad, I always seem to bring myself right back to you, like I'm addictive to this game we're playing. When I'm not, and actually I'm sick of it.
But don't get me wrong, I love you more than anything and Everything.
And you're more than enough for me, I promise you that.

You've just been disappointing me lately, that's all.
I wish you were the person I fell in love with, all over again.
I wish you could make me, happy. Like you used to.
I wish you, you didn't say some of things you do.
Or do some of things you've done.

Maybe you'll get it. Or maybe you'll never know.
Maybe you'll understand that I need you, and that I still want you.
And maybe I'm worth it. Because you're worth it, all this trouble you've put my heart through.
Because you honestly are, were & could be.. my everything.

And I'd be soo hurt to lose you, but I don't want you, like I had you before.
For everything we've been through, It's about time we act like we love each other.


I wanted to be your ride or die,
But I rather be the death of myself.

Last Words, " I love you.. "

Just got home from schoool & I'm fucking chillling ; )

Last night.. really meant alot to me.
Though, you did start off as an asshole, you made up for it..
The entire night, butterflies*
I told you Babe, you make me my happiest.
Kisseshugsandmorekisses<3
As if I'm talking directly to you, lmao.
"I love you, bye."


Ahh, the things I'm willing to do for him. I wish I could have a threesome with just two of him(:
♥

Darling Babies..

MyBabyboy, always&forever..
and I really fucking mean it<3.>

Oops! Did I let this slip? Ooh, my fault.. did I let this slip?
Guess I fogot real quick ;]
My Heart.

Something so deep, that It will drown me.
.. my friends are some cool dudes, I vouch for the people around me ♥

...

You said 4-5pm? It is now, 4:30.
tick tock..

waiting? I guess.
Laaaaaater.
xO.

My dearest.

Its no wonder we haven't thrown away what we had for so long.

It's amazing, matter of fact, how we could've given up but, didn't.

Its useless to say I love you more than I can explain because there isn't enough time in the world, to let you know why.

We'd be here forever..
Speaking of forever, I want you to know that I don't neccesarily believe in that.

I just know that I want to be with you, as long as time allows us.

We're wasting our time away beautifully, you and me. And I honestly, could not be happier.

I promised you that one day I'd let you know exactly how I feel about you.. and it's still adding up, within every single day.

It's been "forever."


I guess, you and I, have some sort of exception to what love is suppose to be

<3.

Part of the List,

January, & February.
October.
Jokes.
Your "weak" ringtone.
The Butterflies.
The smile.
The Peace.
The Feeling.
Anxiousness.
Texting.
The 1st time you said I love you.
DADDY&Princess.
Bestfriend.
December.
Your Heart.
& Us way back then.
...

Venus vs. Mars.

Hov's a Blackberry Bold. Shorty is a Sidekick.

I really want to write about you, I really really do. But I can't find the words. I know how I feel, but I can't make sense of it. Let me explain..

It's awkward, really awkward to look at you, be near you , talk to you..
and it's annoying. I never wanted that to happen. I didn't know what was going to come from this, but if anything friends* in the end. But the way the end started, contradicts that.
I'm not saying you hurt my feelings, because you didn't. I went into this not giving you the chance to control my emotions. And I'm not saying, I don't feel the same way.
But there's something I'm trying to say, that I just can't say.
I wanted you because, I really thought you were someone I could work with. And boy did you surprise me. I thought I could forget about everything, just being with you. And I was so ready to give someone up.. all for you.
What the hell was I thinking? And I wasn't.
I just wanted. And in this game, I usually always get what I want, especially if I work for it.
...

You shut me down.

She has a boyfriend.

Recently, I've chosen to give up on a waste of time.
Good.
And have decided that my throwback* is where I want to be.
Thought we fight, the cut always heals sooo good (:
And I love him, more than I love anyone in this world.
.. well, in that sense.
He's mine. I'm his.
No date, Just Love forever<3.

♥

If you're pretty & you know it, clap your hands
♥ ♥

.. Always been a Pretty Bitch ;]

Pretty Bitch<3.

Sweetbaby<3.
That right there, is my future lovely.
My dream car.
Licensed & ready, I'm coming for you..
I promise.

I want this shit forever <3.

TheCrew♥

11:11, make a wish <3.

My mind, my thoughts..
my heart, my love..
are all over the place.
I do not feel like writing,
peace.

Survey.

Hi, your name is?
slim shady.

Where do you think your number one is right now?
my #one, what?

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?
too many to name.

Will this weekend be a good one?
yeeea?no.

Who did you last text?
tevin(:

Who'd you last talk to on the phone?
kiarrraaaa.

Who and does that last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you?
pssssh, probably? just a friend. i don't know, i don't really remember.

Are you happy with the way things are going?
naaa.

Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
sunset? .. who the hell is up for sunrise.

So what do you want for your birthday?
a boyfriend to spend it with.

How's your hair looking?
fllllllllllly (:

Do you watch the Super Bowl?
if the patriots are playing, yeaa.

Where's the last place you went swimming?
a poool ?

What was the last thing you drank?
nothingg.

How many windows are open on your computer?
twoo.

Are you a morning or a night person?
night, fuck the mornings.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
as of right now.

Do you like your family?
.. i guess. well, at least most* of the time.

Is there someone you could spend every minute with and be happy?
yess(:

Does someone like you right now ?
yess(:

Are you comfortable with your height?
yes.

When did you last talk to your number 1?
after-schoool.

When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
today? .. i think. idontknow man, people are just funny.

Do you make your own money?
$$$ ? me ? aha, i wish!

Would you ever get implants?
chilllll.

Have you ever passed out?
i will pass out, soon. i'm exhausted.

Have you ever had sex in a tent?
let me telll you! pffft, lmao.

How many purses do you own?
a lottttttttt.

What subject in school did you do the worst in?
geometry, but that was last year.

Have you ever had to give up on someone?
yea, but i'm right! .. back at it..
again, ugh.

If an ex said they hated you, you say?
be like, nigga you love me.

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
this nigga<3.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
didn't.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with ?
the girls, most likely.

Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?
no, makes them look stupid.. i don't get jealous.

Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
lmfao*

The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them?
never, ever. cried to them? now* that's a different story.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
i wish=\

Do you have a piggy bank that's actually shaped like a pig?
? No.

Where were you 2 hours ago?
at the school.

Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
yes! the person i like now, wooo.. random?

How many pillows do you sleep with?
four*

What are you wearing?
damn, freaky.
lmao.

Fair to say?

It's fair to say that my time has been well wasted on childish antic's & silly little, " haha" text messages.. so, I'm saying. I won't do it again, ever. Since I've fell in love for the very first time, one year ago, all I've been doing is running around in circles. Either with the same person, or playing the same game. It's tiring, and annoying.. and not worth it. I'm not a quitter, but in this game, I've given quitting a second thought..

* Whoops! in classsssssss right now, soo, * FinishLater.

"Pce, hahahaha."
..omfg.

When two decides to become one..

You lessen the value of another person,
that other person is usually wifey in the situation.
If you don't get this metaphor..
you will.

9/12.

Almost spent the night w/. my smiley(:
.. almost :(

Oops!

.. I forgot to say,

I don't love you anymore,
well.. I'm trying.
why? I know.. I know,
You're confused..
like I was,
But I'm not the ex you're in love with it,
so fuck it..

dotdotdot, nothing nigga.


PERIOD.
people grow. people grow apart.
like you&me.
I mean.. You. & Me.

The Blueprint III .

Hov on that new shit, Niggas like how come?
Niggas want my old shit, buy my old albums.
Niggas stuck on stupid,
I gotta keep it moving,
Niggas make the same shit, Me? I make the Blueprint.
-On to the Next one.

♥♥♥

Jay-Z. I am so, lyrically in love with you, I swear.
The Blueprint III, <3 ...aaah, chillls.
Speechless, we should call it..
Shit, Hov you can speak for me! fuck that.
...
Bottom Line: Jay-Z, Jay-Z <3.always&forever baby.






" Niggas said HOVA was over, such dummies. "
.. you haters.

Holding on.

Because I've decided that is what I want to do.
I can listen to all the advice in the world, and hear all the reasons why we shouldn't be together.
But you've always told me, to listen to my heart first, and my mind will follow, second.
I know, that I don't want to lose you..
And I know, there's a reason why you're still here.
I just need you in my life, B.
And I love everything about you, from your fucked up flaws.. and your carelessness.
I realized that you don't always really know what it is you are doing,
but you apologize after being told that you're doing it.
<3.
As long as you love me, and I love you,
Right here, I'll be.
And your honestly, my everything..
because as a person, I've grown with you
the most.


Day&Night.
Hot&Cold,
Right&Wrong,
Sunshine&Rainydays,
... Then there's, you&me.

*Within reason, I Love You.

= ` \

I really, fucking miss my damn CAMERA.
.. ugh! i was soo stupid.

Text Messages.

" Theirs only 1 reason y i love u......because no matter wut happends or fucked up,
& disrespected i be 2 u u still here"
- 9/8.

Hmm, here's another:

" 2 talk i want to start fresh wit no fights or bringing up the past thats if u want 2....cuz i do"
-9/8.

Songcry..

Has been keeping me sane since, we've stopped talking, "we." as in, me & him..
and it's been days, four to be exact.. but who's counting? .. right. So sad how we treat each other. As if this is a game, and both of our hearts are at stake.. up for grabs. You lose, & your heart breaks.. You win, same difference.. the loser will leave you anyway.

..but! you won't catch me playing that childhood game anymore,
SoICutTheBull & cutyou*..
.. Ooops! need a band-aid?
`cause it looks like your hearts bleeding.

.. salted.

Mmm, mmm , mmmmm ! So, Goooood <3 .

Memories made in Summer `O9.
i Love, LOVE this picture <3.

Another Again,

So there you go, & here we are.
Situation: You breaking my heart, again. And me choking, if not drowning in my tears of frustration, metaphorically speaking of course.
Because I no longer have the strength, or the energy, or even the emotion to cry over you ONE MORE TIME. I don't really know why. There's no explanation. But I know, that I just can't. It's almost impossible to shed a tear, and believe me, because on Friday, I really, really tried..

And I don't know how I'd sound if I told you it actually worked,
that I actually cried over you, for the billionth time.
I'd probably sound stupid.

I refuse to believe that me and you couldn't of worked it out, as if it was impossible to make it work. And that's what I've been holding on to, this whole entire summer. My Hope. And even though it seems like I've been holding on to it for, forever.. this summer has made me realize I needed to hold tighter.

I'll always say, at the time we had what we wanted,
But it wasn't in the right way.
And that's why we're a mess, and will always be a mess.
Until, of course we get it right.

You told me you didn't want anyone knowing about me and you..
But, I'm sorry. I can't come to terms with that, because to me, that sounds stupid..
Amongst shady. I'm in love with you, and after allll we've been through, I'm proud of that.
So if asked, yes, you were mine. And I was yours, because remember, it was what we both wanted.

But If we ever did pick up again,
I promise you this,
they will know.
Everyone.
In their own way,
because, just because.
And one day, your name will go,
Here: ______ ♥


But your Pride. is bigger than your Heart. My nigga.
.. Bad hit.

... One.

Hallelujah !

Summer2oO9!
.. is finally, overr!
And I personally, could not be any happier.
So GOOOODBYE! To the stress, and the heartbreak,
and arguments, and the heat! And the rain.
Dammit, Goodbye to it alll.
Summer`O9, the worst* By far.
And I'm glad you're gone, because honestly, my heart couldn't take it any longer.


.. So, See `ya! .. Wouldn't wanna be `ya!
Sucker.

Amennnn!

Beauty - Dru Hill ♥

Woowie, <3.

Hypothetically Speaking.

" Damn Ma.. so i 'm saying, you got a man or something?"
..hmph "or something".

Hm, I don't know let 's seee.. I have someone who I'm starting to realize and faithfully believe is wasting my time.
But I am in love with this person, with no doubt & I honestly believe that I will love this person, for the rest of my life. I promised this person, forever & Swore on everything, not everything.. but enough. I swore that I always, always, love you because you will always, always, have my heart.

However,

Is this person my Boyfriend?
No he is not.

& At this point, he is far from. He is my biggest confusion, and biggest argument. I do not know why it is I love this person the way I do, and I cannot explain how I love this person.

But I love him.
And that's enough, to say..

I am not taken.
But My Heart is.

Oh, I love her, it 's not over, just another again ♥

Don`t need no spotlight, I don't care who `s watching..
This is something personal.

Meet me Halfway,

Meet me halfway, right at the borderline,
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be looking out, night & day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay
I can't go any further then this..
I want you so bad it's my only wish.

When it comes to my heart, I swear you could get away with murder..

In my own words, UNCENSORED.

I don't use my blog to shit on people or gossip.
True story.

I use my blog for myself, just so happens, millions could view it.
I'm not gonna restrict myself to what I want to say..
Because everything that I write on here, is either how I feel.. or felt.
think or thought.
And I WANT to say it.
So I can't help it.

I'll write about love alot, because that what you do when you're in love.
I'll write about break-ups, & hurting alot, because that's what you want to do when it happens.
I won't write too much about my friends unless they know it. And even if, I wouldn't.
This isn't their blog, but if you're soo curious about them, I'll glady direct you to where you can read about them & their words.
This, however, is not the place.

Sincerely...

Imagine ..

Jayden, Xavier.

or

Kassidy, Hayden.


I'm fucking crazy.

first there were two..
EJB&JMg.
♥

& Now,
there's only one..

EBJG♥

"KE"
Written in Pen,
Soon to be permanent<3.

Puffy & Biggie Smalls ` O7-Present.

Fiance&Fiance.
♥

"Now the sun don't shine forever."

".. But as long as it's here then we might as well shine together."♥

Believe me when I say, " Ain't no shorty Like the one I got."

-No one could do it better.

Always*Forever,Shorty.

A.R.R.<3.